“How Much Money Do You Have?” - June 26, 2026

For Gen Z, A Healthy Bank Account Ranks Above Looks and Personality, When Dating 

In the 1996 Wimbledon tournament semifinal, a fan shouted from the stands to tennis star Steffi Graf, "Steffi, will you marry me?". Graf paused, smiled, and replied: "How much money do you have?" The crowd broke out in laughter, and that exchange has become one of the most memorable moments in Wimbledon history. Graf was 27 at the time, which made her the equivalent of a Gen Z person, in today’s era.  

I was reminded of this exchange when I read an article in the Retirement Upside newsletter, that suggested that Gen Z have moved financial stability to the top of their list when choosing a partner, whether it be for casual dating or for a serious relationship.  This article piqued my curiosity as to how prevalent this approach was as my understanding, albeit it's been several decades since I was on the dating scene, was that while financial stability was always important in choosing a partner, that other criteria came first.  Whether it be initial interest, or elevating a relationship to a more serious level, it was for other reasons such as compatibility, companionship and physical attraction. Money used to be something that could be sorted out later.  I can’t recall even thinking about someone’s net worth until much later into the relationship and even then it would not have been a deal-breaker. It would seem to many that asking a date about their accumulated savings, or their 401(k) or RRSP, would be a major faux-pas that would end that date or relationship.  Apparently that’s not the case any more.  

Survey data from the Bank Of America shows that Gen Z are feeling uncomfortable about the current high cost of living and are placing an emphasis on being financially prepared for their futures. They are less willing to “carry” a partner financially for any period of time in a relationship.  Among Gen Z households earning more than $100,000, only 26% contribute to a 401(k). It’s not that they aren’t saving, but the majority are focused on paying down debt, building emergency savings and preparing for important events such as buying a home. With this in mind, assessing a potential romantic partners’ financial stability has become a necessity. “We can joke about it, but the fact that Gen Z has this focus on assessing a potential partner’s financial situation says a lot about the challenges they’re facing,” said Matt Gellene, head of specialized consumer client solutions at Bank of America Merrill Lynch.

Nearly 25% of Gen Z are delaying some aspect of dating or relationship progress due to their financial situation, according to the Bank Of America survey. Among Gen Z who are in relationships but not living together, the same percentage is hesitant to move in together or get engaged, because of questions about money. As a result, single Gen Z are seeking a partner who is responsible with money and has similar financial values.  74% of survey respondents would prioritize finding a partner who has responsible spending habits, while 66% would choose a partner who can provide them with financial security. These perspectives hold true across the entire relationship status spectrum, Gellene noted. There are no significant differences whether respondents are single, dating or married. Overall, having irresponsible spending habits is one of Gen Z’s biggest romantic dealbreakers, with 43% saying they would not date or marry a person with such a trait - fiscal irresponsibility is seen as a serious red flag.   Among Gen Z respondents, 46% said they would not date someone who was unemployed, even if physical attraction was present. The average ideal partner is expected to earn at least $80,000 annually. Notably, 10% of Gen Z women reported that their ideal match would need to make $200,000 or more. Around one-third said they would consider rekindling a relationship with an ex-partner if that person had become wealthy. Source - AOL

Interestingly, but not surprising , the flip side of financial scrutiny is "financial catfishing", where people fake wealth or financial stability to attract partners. Research found that more than half of young adults admit to faking wealth on dates, suggesting the emphasis on financial assessment has created a parallel culture of financial deception in dating.

Gen Z has made financial assessment a central and unapologetic part of their dating philosophy.

Steffi Graff’s reply thirty years ago was a spur of the moment comment uttered in a very public setting. Although intended to be humorous, it reminded me of the perpetual importance of financial stability in all relationships. Money has always been important. But, over the long term, this shift in priorities for those in the Gen Z cohort could have real consequences: delayed marriages, fewer children, and relationships that are more transactional in nature. Gen Z isn't abandoning love per se, but they are rewriting the rules of romance to include financial due diligence as a standard part of the courtship process.